Don't Hate Me

Don't hate me because I now own "The Complete Magnolia Bakery Cookbook."

Don't hate me because I'm going to make Hummingbird Cake this weekend...

... and this next week.

Oh, and of course, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

How Great Photos are Made

I recently ran across this gem from a photo shoot in May at Gardner Village with Jenni (www.jennihowellphotography.com). I think it may be my favorite photo of Sophie in 2009... her hair is slightly imperfect, she's got bandaids on three nubby sweet fingers, and I love that light little lick on the corner of her lip. This photo embodies "sugar and spice and everything nice."

I shoot with Jenni a lot, and not just because I think she has an amazing eye and is constantly improving through practice and classes. She's also one of my BFFs (ironically, her sassy sweet college-aged daughter Megan is another BFF), and we're "slightly related." She and my mom are cousins technically, but untechnically she's the older, skinnier, more popular big sister I wish I could be. Honestly, people can't help being friends with her... nearly freaky. I also quote her wisdom a lot. If you know me, you know this is true.

Yesterday we shot Sophie and Millie and their cousin Ri for my MIL's Christmas card. Sorry you won't see the results yet. Jenni's 3-year old daughter, Allie, joined us (yes, Jenni has a college-aged daughter and a toddler. From the same babbydaddy and everything, they just celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss. And yes, Allie is an Allison). SuperViv assisted and Gina played kid wrangler. We laughed, we wept (just me), we almost swore (just me). But we got the goods.

First, we scout the location and set up shop...

... while the kids find ways to entertain themselves. Oooo, long dry grass.

As Allie, Sophie and Ririe tell ridiculously hilarious jokes (not funny at all)...

... Jenni snappysnaps. (baby sleeps in the carrier behind her)

The kids belt slightly-butchered Disney tunes in an old shed...

... and Jenni saw that it was good.

The baby, now awake and dumped on a blanket in the middle of a field, uses her toes for entertainment...

... while Viv and Jenni clean up. "Uh, how do you fold these things up?" Viv says.

"No, seriously. How does this work?"

For the record, when you're an actual client of Jenni's the whole process is much more professional but still just as fun. If you're lucky, you might get slightly-butchered Disney tunes.

Once Upon a Halloween

Happy Halloween!

... from the Princess and

the pea!

Sophie decided just last week (after I had already gathered the perfect Alice/White Rabbit ensemble) that she wanted to be a princess. Naturally. Frantic sometimes pays off... from the picked over mess at Target on Thursday afternoon, I dug out this red princess dress and even got 30% off! I'm sick about not making her costume. I never took myself for a premade-costume-from-Target mom. But, whaddayado? So Millie ended up in a pea, fashioned from a pair of Gap pajamas and a repurposed green pillow I fiddled with. Ta-stinkin-da.

On Friday, I was lucky to drive the costume cavalry carpool to preschool.

My parent volunteer assignment at the school was helping out at the kids carnival during the day. It was so much fun! I had to dress up, but with a busy week and knowing I had somewhere dignified to be after, I ended up just throwing on my old cheer uniform. And if you think I hadn't dusted it off since '97, nope... last time I wore it was also 4 months postpartum, when Sophie was a football for her first Halloween and Michael was a football player. Let's just say I had to suck it in a little to get that button fastened!

Sophie's class pleasured us parent helpers with a few songs. I snap-snap-snapped my camera and in every picture, my kid is singing her blessed little heart out! (We're now planning a move to Hollywood) Apparently she's been making out with that kid on her right. Punk. At least, she says, they're married. I suppose an astronaut with cute dimples is a catch...

The kids circulated through the makeshift booths: ring toss, temporary tattoos, bowling, beanbag toss (I was in charge of that one), fishing...

I love this shot of Lucy. I asked her to show me her tattoo. Looks like she's flashing a gang sign. Whaddup, punkinyo...

On Halloween Day, we trick-or-treated to the Great Grandmas. First, Michael's...

... then, mine.

We stopped at Michael's parents' place.

Our neighborhood has a chili/hotdog/potato feed at the church each year. It is always packed! The best part is the young families are starting to really get into the dressing up spirit: one family was the cast of Toy Story, Little Kate and crew were the Peter Pan ensemble. The best may have been the family that showed up as Napoleon Dynamite (the mom!), Pedro, Side Ponytail Girl and Rex Kwon Do. The punch line: the husband/wife actually wrote and directed the film. It was hilarious!

Michael had a football game at the U (for the record: BOO to the U for planning a night game on Halloween). So, mommy and girls headed down to Howells for the annual scone night.

For Marianne (sorry for the icky exposure)...

Stephinanny was a hit with Millie. Honestly, she is magic with the kiddos. The beginning of a beautiful friendship...

Remember when you did this as a kid? Megan and Kaylie and some college boys desperate for their affection took Allie (Mulan) and Soph trick or treating. Cause my kid seriously needs more candy in her life.

Autumn Leaves

Be still, my beating heart...

Ready, set...

... THROW!
Time to clean up...

"Wait a second," she says. "I got a great idea."

"It tickles," she giggles.

"Surprise, Zeddie!" she shouts.

"Time to go inside, Bug," I say. Sad.

What Mommy Says...

You learn a lot about yourself and your parenting techniques when your kid is playing "Mommy" with her toys in the backseat. First, when she plays "Mommy," her toys do not become "Baby" or "Daughter," they are all her "Sweethearts." So I got a hit and a miss this week:

HIT: "Sweetheart, you wanna go home and plant some bulbs? Ok, let's go plant bulbs." (awww)
MISS: "Sweetheart, I tell you twenty times... stay. by. me." (after a frustrating trip to Target)

WINNER!

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

6 

Timestamp: 2009-10-22 04:31:16 UTC

CONGRATULATIONS to lucky #6, JenSwen! Yippee to my cute friend who lives just up the street (so I save on postage... I ask: who's the real winner here?!), who said:

"I know I read that book when I was a kid but I can't remember what it was about. My favorite memory is when you got me addicted to Spoon Me when we were both in our first trimesters of pregnancy. It tasted so great at the time but I can't eat it anymore because it reminds me of pregnancy nausea!"

THANK YOU to all 16 of you (don't the rest of you wish you commented?!) who entered my silly little giveaway. I thought by asking for memories, I was setting myself up for really random embarrassment. Instead, your messages were actually very touching. Funny thing is, I think without realizing it I really needed each one of your sweet messages.

And so, in short and unworthy response:

JONI: I was so thrilled to introduce you to the world of luxurious relaxation!

LAURA: I can shut my eyes and still imagine you doubled over whimpering as our prisoner escaped. You are my childhood.

LANEY: That night definitely sticks out to me. Seems so long ago! Michael loved the reminder of his "chick" comment. We're so happy you've found your way to UT.

TAMMY: Oh my gosh, why were you even friends with me at all?!

KELLY: I know who not to tell my secrets to... (just kidding). Thank you for inspiring me.

JEN: Thanks for going to Spoon Me with me, even though I'm old. That smell, that taste, also reminds me of early pregnancy!

KING LADY: Let's be dear friends. If you are in any way connected to Annie, I admire you. And my husband doesn't do Olive Garden, either.

JANIE: A Mormon Mom acting more drunk than the guys at the hotel bar... that's a winner of a memory.

MEGAN: Go and make me cry, why don't you?! You, my sweet little girl, have a special piece of my heart. A big ol' chunk, actually. Sometime soon, we need to dress you and Sophie in matching overalls and take your picture by the bell tower.

GINA: Ri can have my juice any time. Thanks for letting us take naked pictures of you (for other readers... it really wasn't like that). Lucky to have you. Loves.

MARIANNE: How come you're good at, like, everything? And you do it with such flair, such style. I want your skills.

ANDREW: First, the opposite sex flirting with me? Um, you're ridiculous. And second, you're absolutely right... nobody stood a chance next to my all-star. So glad we could share that time of our lives together, and have continued to make memories with our families, from girls weekend to Sophie's first date!

KATIE: You know those friends that are just meant to be somehow? You're mine. And I love you. Hope you don't mind.

JENNY: Why don't we do more sporadic hangouts? That day felt so good! You've been just what I needed to adjust to a new life in Utah. Thank you for your friendship, and celeb tidbits.

LAURA AGAIN: I don't remember your relatives, but honestly... I will NEVER forget "I Saw the Sign!"

Love,

AL

Giveaway: Happy 100 to Me!

100 is my favorite number. Oh, wait... besides 7, which I consider lucky. And 14, my junior high soccer number. But today we're talking about 100.

Why the love for 100? If you want to start with my childhood, my nerdy self (I'm bragging, not apologizing) would settle for nothing less on my spelling tests in elementary school. In fact, I can remember the one time I did not get 100%: in the 2nd grade, I misspelled "tomorrow." I hate tomorrow.

More recently, Millie weighed in at 100% ideal weight for her height at her 4 month appointment. I'm so proud of my little rollie-pollie! Wait, how do you spell rollie-pollie?

And even more recently, this is my 100th blog post. I know, I know. This is a big deal. I actually stuck with it this long. I've only ever dated one guy this long... and I married him.

In celebration of my centennial blog post, I'm doing something I've never done before... something my friend Katie says everyone must do at some point on their blog. I'm hosting a giveaway.

Here's the loot:

A $25 gift card to Olive Garden. Also valid at Red Lobster and Bahama Breeze.

A copy of my favorite childhood book, The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi.

A bag of my favorite candy, Peanut M&Ms. I eat them for my conscience, cause peanuts have protein. Don't they?

TO ENTER:

I'm curious who actually reads my blog. So if you leave a comment on this post, whether you've ever commented before or if you even know me, you're entered. BUT, let's see... in your comment you have to include something witty, like your favorite memory of us. And if we don't have any memories together (cause you don't know me... or hey, don't like me), then tell me how you got here. If you went by my past "comments," you've got some pretty darn good odds. I mean, I'm averaging, like, 2.

The contest ends on or about Wednesday, October 21. Cause if 7 and 14 were a series, 21 would be next. Winner chosen randomly. Friends and family of moi are absolutely eligible to win. Be sure to include some way to contact you in case you win.

Smooches.

Spooks at Gardner Village

The Good: Friends. The Bad: Crowds. The Ugly: Gardner Village Witches.

Is there more to the witches at Gardner Village, other than weird stuffed ladies perched here and there? Maybe I'm missing something. Sophie's observation: "She have big boom-booms," promptly followed by a poke.

I'm laughing at how long Allie's legs are compared to Sophie's!

Apparently, someone was shocked by the witches (or maybe just the big boom-booms)...

The lineup of friends: Gina and Ri...

Myra with Millie (recovered from the shock)...

Marianne and little smoochable Eleanor...

Uh-oh. A black cat crossed our path. Spooky.

So we had to chase it.

And pet it. Until it got annoyed and ran off.

No matter. Turns out we had our own little kitties.

The Escape

Call the cops... somebody let us out of the house without the baby girls.

Favorites: Food

Surprise: I like food. In fact, I'm all of a sudden very hungry. Here are some of my favorites...

FEELING SNACKY?

• Mini Babybell cheese singles: they have the full-fat kind in bulk at Costco. If I'm at the grocery, I buy the light variety. Easy to grab and go, just don't leave the little wax wrapper in your car in the summer...
• Carr Whole Wheat Crackers with Brie cheese: I know, more cheese. My friend turned me on to this and I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. These Carr whole wheat crackers come in a small box; search the cracker aisle. These wheat crackers, of all things, feel like a luxurious treat. Trust me, they're so yummy yummy.
• Dried Apricots: I get the big bag at Costco. That particular brand (Mariani, I think) is the softest I've had.
• Trader Joe's Tempting Trail Mix: for those lucky enough to have a TJ's close (I hate you). It has a dark angel on the label... what does that mean? A supersweet mix of several nut varieties, dark chocolate or carob chips, dried cranberries (or are they cherries), and peanut butter chips. I think I'm going to make this mix as my Christmas neighbor gifts this year.

GET FRESH! The hands-down BEST fresh produce is from the roadside stands that line California's Central Valley route between the Bay Area and my hometown (sniff, sniff). But since that's not so accessible to me very often, I try to hit the SL Farmers Market occasionally.

• Pineapple: I know the chopped up stuff at the grocery comes with a premium price tag. At the rate I eat pineapple (I often get sores in my mouth), I finally bucked up and bought one of those special pineapple cutter thingies at Williams Sonoma.
• Berries!
• Oven Roasted Asparagus: Ok, do this and you'll be hooked. Snap the little icky hard part of the stems off your asparagus, throw the yummy remainder in a baking dish, drizzle a little EVOO, sprinkle some kosher salt, then roast in the oven at about 425 for approximately 10-15 minutes. Holy mama, good stuff.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS...

• Old-fashioned Oatmeal with Chocolate Chips: When we were kids, my exasperated mom convinced us to eat our hot oatmeal by topping it with chocolate chips. I bet she had no idea that at (ahem) 30, I'd eat my oatmeal every morning with semi-sweet chocolate chips on top.

UTAH FAVORITE: Utah has some pretty unique culinary offerings, that's for sure. I'm planning a future post of my favorite food "venues," including the low-down on Crown Burger (I'm pretty sure that place is inspired) and Nielson's Frozen Custard. As far as actual food...

• Creamies! I think these frozen treasures, lower fat ice cream bars on a stick, are only available in this region. You'd think chocolate would be my favorite, but our household favors banana. Orange is truly like a creamsicle. There are lots of other flavors, too. Perfect hammock treat.

OUR FAMILY SPAGHETTI SAUCE LEGACY. So the story goes... years ago my grandmother used Lawry's Spaghetti Sauce Mix (the spices in a packet) with her young family. I think she said it was the first meal she made for my grandfather. Then, my mom used the same stuff. Lawry's Spaghetti became a staple in our family, a favorite request. My grandmother, a writer, sent the story of our family's connection with the product to the company, which was featured on the cover of their newsletter with a photo of my grandparents and their baby grandchildren (me and my brother). So basically I'm famous. And now, guess what? I always have Lawry's Spaghetti Sauce mix in my spice cabinet, my go-to.

GETTING FISHY. Hansens could easily pull a Piven if we keep eating fish at this rate. We love seafood. I used to be too intimidated to cook fish, but I'm learning just how easy it is to cook what some believe is the healthiest meat. I get my fish from Costco, separating my salmon and tilapia into serving sizes just right for our little family and placing in ziploc bags for the freezer. May not be the most eco-friendly or wild or whatever, but hey. A few ways I prepare fish:

• Teryaki Salmon: I soak my fillets in a pretty equal mix of Worchestire Sauce and low sodium Soy Sauce for just a few minutes, then grill or pan fry until flaky.
• Tilapia Goes Nutty: I put tilapia on a cookie sheet, lightly brush with butter, sprinkle with Tony Cachere's Cajun spice mix, and cover with extremely finely (almost dusty) chopped nuts (my fave for this recipe: pistachios). I bake at 350 for 10 minutes. Viola.
• Shrimp with Bay Seasoning: My mother-in-law turned me on to Bay Seasoning. Add vinegar and Bay Seasoning when you boil shrimp (note: get the de-veined shrimp if you know what's good for you. I'm not your mom, so I'm not going to explain what that means).

I NEED A DRINK. The stiffest stuff I've ever gulped is a very occasional Diet Coke (minus that lemonade from the adult table at Laura's neighborhood party when I was a kid; I swear I had NO idea it was spiked). But I do like yummy fun drinks, like:

• Ginseng Peppermint Tea Latte from The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf: The Mormon Newsgirl's Coffee Substitute. This creamy, sweet herbal tea is only available through the franchise based in California and Nevada. On a previous visit, we bought the dry stuff, so now I can make it at home. In the cooler seasons, I drink this at night while I watch fall TV. Cozy.
• Real Limeade is fun in the summer, particularly blended and mixed with sugar and strawberries.
• Williams Sonoma Shaved Hot Chocolate. Darn my sister-in-law for gifting this to me one Christmas! I'm hooked, and it is only available during the holidays! Imagine melting the richest, darkest chocolate shavings into warm milk. Intense. Go for the mint, and plan on diluting a little... unless you want a hot chocolate heart attack.

FAVORITE RECIPES. Ugh, I'm overwhelmed at the idea of sharing my favorite recipes (minus the fish above), so let me know if you want to know the formula for: turkey meatloaf, white bean chicken soup, clam linguine, hearty and easy chicken soup loaded with noodles and veggies, and my new favorite Rocco Parmesan Risotto with mushrooms and asparagus.

"The Great Hamster Race '09" or "The Things We Do"

What is everyone waiting for?

These...

Zhu Zhu Pets... maybe you've seen the ads on television. They're these little battery-operated hamster toys that squeak and run around. Word on the street is these babies are the hot holiday item.

We're not that hip. We just happened to strike up a friendly conversation with our local Toys 'r' Us manager, Oscar, last week. Oscar told us that our particular TRU location gets a shipment of just 48 hamsters each Friday morning, and that there's a line out the door before they open at 10am. They've imposed a "4 Hamsters per Customer" policy. Last week the hamsters were gone in less than fifteen minutes.

You'd think that story might deter some folks. But this morning, Michael hopped up and headed out to the hunt. He texted me that he was second in line, behind a grandpa. So I called his dad, who in turn called his sister and mom. I loaded up the baby girls as quickly as I could (Wait, did I brush my teeth? Quick tongue scan... Yup, I'm good) and showed up just as the other Hansens arrived to wait it out in our various spots in line (no, we did not "cut" or "save spotsies").

I didn't know how to explain to Sophie what on earth the rush was all about, so I told her we were going on a special mission to save Daddy at the toy store. I shouldn't have been so dramatic; when we got out of the car, she asked if the other people in line were "the bad guys" that we needed to save Daddy from. Then again, after our experience, maybe it wasn't too far from the truth...

Here are the two cousins waiting in line. I may have brushed my teeth, but I certainly didn't brush Sophie's hair.

I couldn't take any photos during the actual melee. I was runnin' and gunnin'. You see, they opened the doors promptly at 10, and the first of us in line started in orderly. All of a sudden, desperate lame-os in the back of line sent their KIDS running past all of us! So of course, with the ante raised, we all started hoofing it. Michael grabbed as many as he could, but one was snatched right out of his hands by some lady. Grrr. His dad and I didn't get any at all. Even carrying my baby, I was getting pushed around. Insanity.

Grandpa Guy in front of Michael grabbed more than his quota, but it was understandably because he didn't know which colors he was supposed to get. So while he was waiting for like two seconds for his wife to help him, these VULTURE ladies descended on him, yelling at him and eventually reaching in and grabbing toys out of his basket violently. It was horrible! He was finally left alone to go to the registers, and he was nice enough to give one of his extras to me.

The hamsters come with all of these accessories, little tubes and wheels for hours of enjoyment. Post-race, we had a family conference in aisle 9. Michael's sister examines the goods...

With our crew, we could have snagged four each for a total of 20. We ended up with seven (thanks for your donation to our cause, poor Grandpa Guy). But with only two toddlers between us, why on earth would we need so many hamsters? KSL, I say. They're going for three times their value online at the moment, and it is only October. I wonder if I'm savvy enough.

Below is a group shot after we finally got through the registers, after we were approached by other dejected customers hoping for our extras, and after one of the vulture ladys' husbands came up to us to try to justify her poor behavior with "Can you believe that old man? We had to steal one right out of his basket!" Yeah, dude. Hope you feel awesome giving that to your kid (who, ironically, was randomly pushing Sophie in line pre-Race) on Christmas morning.

This photo-- with harried parents and grandfather, baby in carrier, two antsy toddlers on the move, and big bags in hand -- just about sums it up.

See you next Friday morning...

Just Our Week

What we've been up to:

I LET OUR CAMERA BATTERY DIE. Yeah, so you're going to get lots of non-picture events, and a couple of fuzzy iPhone photos.

OH MY ACHIN' BACK. I visited a spine doctor, because the pain I felt in my lower back during pregnancy hasn't gone away. I've had a weak back for years, made worse by poor stunting habits as a high school cheerleader, a car accident in Los Angeles, and now by carrying my second child in the womb. Turns out my lowest disc has degenerated (ouchie). I also have a slight scoliosis (small enough that the doctor isn't worried, but pronounced enough for a medical dumdum like me to actually see it in the x-ray); the way my spine curves could possibly have something to do with hauling kids around on my left side all the time, making it easier to do things with my right hand. Moral of the story: no biggee. I start physical therapy tomorrow morning.

ALL-AMERICAN APPLE PIE. One of my autumnal goals is to learn to make apple pie. Pie crust intimidates me. There's all this "keep the butter chilled" pressure and rolling pin action and so on. So I started slow for Apple Pie Round One, focusing on the filling and using refrigerated pie crust dough from the grocery. Guess what? Turned out pretty darn yummy.

I'M A PIG. I personally ate 3/4 of the aforementioned apple pie.

PLAYLAND ISN'T ALL FUN AND GAMES. Don't even ask me how we ended up at the McDonald's Playland a few days ago. But there we were, watching Sophie eat her chicken nugget kids meal. Post-Happy Meal, the Kiddo ditched her Converse and started climbing through the maze of tubes, waving from the bubble windows on her way up to the top of the slide. Then, at the most unreachable spot, she f.r.e.a.k.e.d! Our friend happened to be there, and sent her kid in for Sophie Recon, but he failed. She was screaming so painfully, it was down to Mission: Parent Rescue. I offered, but Michael was wearing less new clothing, so he squished and wiggled through the twists and turns to save his princess. When little kids met up with him, they slithered through his arms and legs! It was a hilarious show for all of the lunch-hour parents seated below.

I don't know if you can tell from this photo, but that is Michael's body in the windows. He's coaxing Sophie.

Finally near the end!

They made it! Soph acted like there was never a problem to begin with. Michael actually came out all smiles, and I saw a small glimpse of Kid Michael. I honestly think he had fun crawling around in there!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLIE! We celebrated with our cousin friend at her Dog and Cat party. Jenni did an amazing job with the themed details: the kids ate out of doggie dishes, they all brought their favorite stuffed animal, Kirsten and Tom made photo ID tags for their "pets," and the kicker was when big sister Megan (a college student) was sport enough to dress up in a full-on doggie mascot costume to thrill the kiddos. After the party, the dads took the girls to their respective football games (Tom/Allie: BYU, Michael/Sophie: Utah) so Jenni and I spent the rest of the day shopping, hitting a salad bar and "verbally barfing up" our biggest complaints (not too many right now, actually) and relationship analyzations and goals (always too many). Y'know, stuff you do with friends.

GREAT SUNDAY. Millie actually slept in her carseat through all three hours of church today! This gave me the unique opportunity to actually sit in our entire YW meeting. I know I was meant to be there today. Elder Koelliker, our church's Area President for South Africa, spoke to our group of young men and young women about his experiences. This was an unusual opportunity; he happened to be in town visiting his son, our YM president. You guys, Africa is amazing. His photos, his stories... so inspiring. I was awestruck, and near tears, on the edge of my seat the whole time. The African people sacrifice so much, live with simple humility, and have incredible faith. I want to go...

SCOUT GRADUATION. Tonight, Michael's boys earned their Arrow of Light and will advance from Cubs to real Scouts. I'm sure I'm not using the correct terminology, but you get the idea. We spent the evening doing silly scout claps and stuff. So fun! Sophie loves it. Well, we all do, actually. When they announced that Michael has agreed to graduate with the boys and continue working with them through their Eagle Scout, the crowd cheered. Whooped and hollered and everything. He's really making a difference with those boys. We love them so much.